• Amy

What is Self-love?

Updated: Feb 2, 2020

I was re-reading some of my older posts and a lot of the time the suggestion self-love came up. How can you raise your vibration? Self-love. How can you bring more joy into your life? Self-love, it sounded so attainable yet so vague, like self-love is a sticker you can pick up at the supermarket and put on your shirt. Yes, I spiraled, because I wasn’t quite able to put into words what self-love was; no matter what I said, it would not describe how revolutionary self-love is and the magic it brings into our lives.

Louise Hay said it is not selfish to love ourselves. She went further to say that self-love clears us so that we can love ourselves enough to love other people. Deun Ivory describes self-love as feeding your spirit with things that bring you joy.

My self-love journey began almost two years ago, I swear it feels like my life really began two years ago, anyway I had started a job that made me question my value and I descended into the one of the lowest moments of my life. I was at war with life and every morning I woke up with such dread. Which is when I discovered the law of attraction, which to me sounded a lot like the law of getting what I want. It was not until I discovered Louise Hay that I learned about self-love and how it affects what we attract into our life. Her approach to increasing self-love seemed simple, look in the mirror first thing in the morning and confess your love for yourself. Easy. Okay. The first day seemed easy only because I didn’t believe the words said. Nevertheless, I persisted, crust in my eyes and confessed love for myself.

With time and several affirmations later, I started to open up like a flower, I became more aware of my needs, I appreciated myself for my achievements, I introduced more joy into my life, I put up boundaries and I let go of people who were no longer serving me. It was a total shift, my situation at work also changed and my immediate manager stopped picking on me as I no longer viewed myself as a victim. Caution, it wasn’t an overnight process and I’m still on the self-love journey.

Self-love to me means total love for myself; flaws and all. It’s about allowing myself to experience the best and giving room to my authentic self to blossom. I’m honestly still shaky on the definition but if I narrow it down to one word, it would be ACCEPTANCE. Total acceptance of who I am.

I asked a couple of friends to supplement my definition of self-love by adding what self-love means to them and this is what they had to say;

Self-love is being comfortable on your own and in your own skin.


Self-love is kindness, expressing gratitude to yourself and doing what’s best for you, not based on any biases but what is objectively good for you.


Self-love means being able to make the decisions to do what makes me genuinely happy and peaceful, even when it’s hard or when I would be expected to do something else by society or the people around me. Self-love is being able to reflect and understand my true needs and motivators.


Self-love to me means learning to say no- to avoid triggers and situations that set me off when I’m in a vulnerable state. Reminding myself to be confident in myself and in my dealings.


Over to you, what does self-love mean to you?

P.S If the definition is a little shaky, Feel free to head over to our Instagram Page, we’re doing a self-love challenge this month. Join us if you’re looking to get on that self-love journey, then we can hold each other accountable.

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