People Deserve Honesty
Disclaimer: This post has The Bold Type Spoilers.
Jane and Ryan break up in the season 3 finale of The Bold Type. I was not surprised, I saw it coming. There was a weird vibe, Ryan would show up in a couple of episodes and his name didn’t appear in the main credits. I was waiting for the ball to drop, when we officially got the message that Ryan would not be in The Bold Type. Why is this important? Let me paint a picture for you.
Jane and Ryan have been in a long term relationship, it’s cute. If you are a writer and dreamed of dating a writer, your dream would be satisfied here. A couple of months into the relationship, Ryan cheats and he doesn’t tell Jane the entire truth about what happens. He says he kissed someone else and that’s about it. They go through a tumultuous time before Jane forgives him. The whole truth then comes out and Jane finds out he didn’t only kiss but slept with someone else. Ryan confesses that he did not tell Jane the truth because she would have never forgiven him. Jane closes the conversation by saying Ryan never gave her the chance.
A couple of years ago I saw a tweet, a man was explaining how women can’t take the truth. Did you roll your eyes as well? He was talking about how he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship but he wanted to spend time with someone without it getting serious. He explained however, that as soon as he expressed the truth about what he wanted the lady he was hanging out with left. Thus his passion for the statement that women can’t take the truth.
Earlier this week, I had a disagreement with a good friend of mine. I knew that there was bad news coming her way but I didn’t tell her. It was hard, I didn’t want to hurt or disappoint her. I kept it to myself and gave permission to the Universe to find a way of telling her. When she found out she was upset. Obviously. I oscillated between justifying my actions and taking responsibility, trying to figure out why I did what I did and what to tell her. Taking responsibility won and I had a long chat with myself about my actions.
I came to the realization that I withheld the truth because I didn’t want to be the person who hurt or disappointed her. In that situation, I chose my own feelings of comfort over speaking the truth. I made it about me when it wasn’t. It’s the same across the board. Ryan didn’t tell Jane the truth because he felt like she wouldn’t forgive him. Classic case of made it about him. And then we have Twitter guy who expressed women can’t take the truth because the lady didn’t act in his interest. However, she took the truth and acted in her best interest. I think there’s so much self-importance when we’re dishonest, we forget that the person we’re withholding the truth from has needs, desires and things to do. They have a life.
When we’re honest; we save time and effort. Everybody sleeps better at night and we don’t need to keep tabs on the lies we’ve told.
Be honest, you want to!